


wrecked but clean

by itsapurefeeling



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV), bonkai - Fandom
Genre: Absent Parents, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Protectiveness, Teen Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-06-30 11:52:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19852612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsapurefeeling/pseuds/itsapurefeeling
Summary: He loves her. Nothing in the world could ever change that.OrKai realizes how much Bonnie means to him while finding himself as well.





	wrecked but clean

**Author's Note:**

> Worked on this for a whole summer. Very proud of it, I hope you enjoy x

Kai watches her scrub down a dirty table around eleven thirty, most likely the highlight of his night if hes honest. She's oblivious to his presence, her chestnut hair pulled into a high bun as she works steadily to get a big grease stain up.

She's dressed in her regular uniform, a short pink skirt and top to match. Her 'new' white sneakers stained with brown as she moves around the room quickly. He wonders how pissed off she's going to be when she realizes his present is ruined by careless stains.

Clearing his throat, he earns a jump from his companion who spins around with a scowl on her pretty caramel face, "Can I help you Parker?" she questions, her honey voice floating through the empty bar.

"Just checking in on my favorite waitress" he replies sliding into a booth easily, watching as she smiles softly at him "plus your shift is over in.." pulling out his phone he grins "five minuets I thought you might want a ride".

"I'd love one" she agrees walking over to a new table ignoring Kai's existence for the rest of her shift.

When she clocks out Kai's waiting for her outside, a lit cigarette hangs from his lips as the petite girl opens the passenger door of his car without sparing him a glance.

Rolling his eyes he stomps it out hastily, joining Bonnie in his black suburban.

The car ride to her house is silent, she plays on his phone, the sound of geometry dash loud in the quiet car and he wonders is she's doing this to annoy him. Just the thought alone has him snatching his phone out of her tiny hands.

"Hey" she whines finally meeting his eyes as she grabs for his phone once more, "Give it back you ass".

Sticking it in his pocket he grins "How about we try communication, you know when two people actually talk to each other".

Bonnie scoffs "I think were doing just fine".

Kai rolls his eyes speeding up to seventy, taking route 9 towards Bonnie's apartment "Maybe I should quit being your ride" he breathes softly, keeping his steel eyes on the road, his jaw clenched in annoyance.

Her tiny hand wraps around his free one tightly, her pretty fingers searching for his callused ones. Kai breathes in through his nose, holding her hand just a tight.

"Jeremy's hands are softer" she comments nonchalantly, grinning when his grip becomes almost unbearable.

When they pull up to her apartment Kai doesn't even spare her a glance, she grabs her bag from the back of his car and gives him a small wave before she walks into the tall building.

The urge to call her back outside nags him, but in the end he just pulls off without a glance in Bonnie's direction, anger running through his veins.

When he steps back into his house Jo is sipping on his stashed bourbon as she watches The Bachelor unaware of his arrival.

"Where's Liv?" Kai questions, setting down his jacket on top of the table joining his twin, pulling the bottle out of her hand.

Jo nudges him with her foot, grabbing the bottle back "Out with Tyler"

"And why are you at my house?" he asks, grabbing the bottle taking a quick sip, "You do realize your house is a lot better than my own Dr.Parker".

She snorts at his response, a rare grin growing on her face "Well you have a better T.V besides, is it a crime to want to see my own brother".

Kai sighs loudly but allows Jo to curl her legs around his own, the rest of the night is uneventful as a certain brunette stains his mind.

***

When Kai bumps into her the next day he acts surprised, eyebrows raised she pulls out her headphones, a frown forming on her face as she looks at him "How lucky for me".

He grins at her sassy attitude, heat flooding his body as he roams his eyes over her naked legs, her shorts barely covering her bronzed skin.

"Funny seeing you here Bonster" he comments after a second, peering down at Bonnie with a blank face, erasing any emotion that once laid there.

She scoffs loudly "What is it Kai?",her tone bitter, making Kai narrow his eyes at her.

"So that's how it's going to be" the tall man questions, already putting space between himself and the petite girl, anger crawling underneath his skin once more.

Bonnie lets out a tiny sigh before wrapping her arms around him, her head resting against Kai's chest as she hugs him tightly to her. He lets her control him, his head resting on-top of her own, honey and lemon filling his nose.

"I'm sorry for being an ass, you know i'm just playing with you." she whispers so softly Kai isn't sure he hears her correctly, she lifts onto her toes pressing a soft kiss against his lips,a gentle peck before pulling away completely.

With a quick grin shes jogging past him back onto the forest trail, her perfume clogged in his nose as she rounds the corner. He spots the exit and quickly makes his way over waiting for his tiny friend to reappear.

His clock reads 8:36 when she stops in front of him, out of breath and sweaty grinning at her watch. "New record" she beams, her face lit with happiness, blinding Kai with her smile.

Grabbing her wrist he pulls her easily to his side, her head resting beneath his clavicle as he breathes in her scent, calm and alluring everything that makes her Bonnie Bennett.

Leading her over to his car feels like a small victory, with her hand wrapped in his own he feels like he's floating, blessed to even be in her presence. She slides into the passenger side like many times before, closing the door before he can get a chance too.

They sit in comfortable silence, stopping at Mc Donald's when Bonnie suggests they should get something to eat, ten minuets later she's in his lap compliant and soft as he marks her neck with his teeth, possessive and hungry for any skin that doesn't have his claim.

When he drops her off hours later she looks dazed and happy making heat bubble underneath his skin, she pecks him twice on the lips before skipping up the stairs into her house, leaving him in her quiet driveway.

He waits for three minuets, making sure she doesn't come running back out for something before he backs out and heads towards his own home. The long roads blurring together as he finally steps out of his car heading inside his house, ignoring Jo and Olivia as he quickly flops on his bed, and within minuets is out like a light.

***

"Were moving at the end of the month" Jo says, her phone tucked underneath her chin as she talks to Rick, running around like a crazy person with her purse in her hand. Kai watches her lazily, pork rinds littered over the couch as Supernatural plays in the background.

"I still have to pack up the office and make our final payments, there's two weeks left." she continues, waving at Kai as she leaves his house, shutting the door quietly behind her.

Liv scoffs loudly from the kitchen making her way over to the living room, "I can't believe were leaving in two weeks" she groans. Kai looks up briefly, rolling his eyes in her direction before settling them back on Dean.

"I bet your not rolling your eyes when Bonnie finds out" she says matter of factly, rolling her own eyes before disappearing into the bathroom.

"Bitch" He mutters underneath his breath, annoyed. Standing up he quickly grabs his keys and heads out into the world, the sun blinding as he slides easily into his car, heading down the road to his safe haven.

Kurts bar comes into view and Kai lets out a long sigh, grateful that only one car sits in the parking lot. Stepping inside the dimly lit bar he spots Kurt behind the counter, a cigar hanging from his lips as he chats with a blonde.

Sitting down Kai slaps his hand on the bar counter, shocking the girl next to him. " Whiskey neat please" he mutters, passing three dollars Kurts way. The old man eyes him, but turns away heading to the bar.

"Hey there" The blond woman says, running her skinny fingers along his arm. Yanking his arm off the bar he settles it by his side, just in time as Kurt pushes the whiskey towards him.

"Whats the problem this time Malachai?" Kurt questions, leaning on his elbows as he watches Kai down the drink in one go, his silver front tooth out on display.

Pushing his glass over to Kurt he grins "Just wanted to see my good pal one last time", Kurt frowns down at the glass but refills it grudgingly.

"Yall finally heading out huh?" Kurt questions, his tone somber.

Kai nods his head, keeping his steel eyes on his drink.

"Well i'll miss you kiddo, its going to be weird not seeing you around here".

Kai downs the whiskey quickly, holding out his hand towards the old man who grips his own. "You take care of yourself Kai".

"You too oldie" he teases, earning a grin.

His phone buzzes inside his pocket, without looking he grabs it swiping answer as he slides off the bar stool. "Hello" he says, waving goodbye at Kurt before pushing the bar door open.

"Hey there" Bonnie's voice floats through the phone, magical and soft reaching his ears.

"Well well if it isn't Miss Bennett, what can I do for you" he almost sings walking over to his car.

"I just wanted to see if you were still coming over" she sighs, sounding annoyed but tired and immediately he understands.

"Your mom again?" he questions gently, looking out his rear view mirror before pulling out onto the highway.

She stays silent for a moment, her soft breathing the only sound he can hear through the speaker. "Can you just come please?" she asks, and of course he would go to her.

"Be there in five" he says ending the call.

The road is dead as Kai speeds down it, a lone car passes him just as he pulls into Bonnie's complex.

He doesn't even need to exit the car because shes already running over to him, her brown hair wild as she throws open the door before slamming it shut.

He doesn't even blink as he backs out and they're both on the deserted road together.

She's tense he realizes, her honey golden skin pale as she rests her head on his window, pain evident on her pretty face.

Anger boils underneath his skin, something familiar he's use to when he thinks about Bonnie's disgusting mother, a waste of life in his opinion. Not that he would tell her that.

Instead he lets her have a moment, choosing to focus on the road as they travel to his place. When she's ready to talk she will and he will be patiently waiting.

-

The next day she's glued to his side; stuck to him like a magnet. Not that he's complaining, it's a win in his book that the one girl who defies him so much is the one girl who won't let go of his hand.

He knows she must be beating herself up from yesterday, he can't count on his hands how many times she's been like this. Broken and scared of a new day to come, hurt from her mother who deserves to be six feet under.

Although she's hurt she never says anything about it, she just has this lost look in her eyes that Kai can't stand. He wishes she would just explode and say what's on her mind, tell him everything she's thinking.

"I don't know what I would do without you" her sleepy voice says against his chest, her head tucked underneath his chin as they sit on his couch.

Warmth spreads through his fingertips as he cradles her closer, "you won't have to find out" he says, closing his eyes.

How he could possibly tell the one girl he ever loves more than life itself he was leaving? That this whatever they were is going to finally end.

Tears spring to his eyes as they sit together. And for once Kai understands why Bonnie never talks about it.

It's to painful.

Too scary to say out loud.

Because when it's voiced it becomes real; it becomes something true. Something permanent. 

He closes his eyes tightly, pulling the sleepy brunette closer to his chest. Uncontrollable jealously swimming through his body as he thinks about the future. Who will take his place?

His place.

Beside his girl.

The only girl in the world who can make him feel so small, vulnerable. The only lover he has ever known; he the only friend he can truly count on. Who will fill his vacant spot once he leaves her here, broken and open for any guy to see. Just the thought has him clenching his teeth roughly. 

As if feeling his tension Bonnie wraps a slender arm around his stomach, sticking her small face between his arm and the couch. She's instantly back asleep, soft snores escaping her.

Kai breathes deeply through his nose, once then twice before relaxing.

The last thought that flickers through his brain before everything goes blank is how much he's going miss the short fiery girl who set his world ablaze.

-

It's hard to be around her.

Not that it was easy before but now it's thirty times worse. He realizes that she can read him like an open book, those gorgeous emerald eyes trained on him, every second of everyday they spend together.

He feels dirty, tainted by his lies that he can't even keep eye contact with her for more than three seconds. It's horrible lying to her, because she deserves better than him; better than this town that she calls home.

She deserves to have silk sheets and a big mansion somewhere on the beach with kids of her own right beside her. A loving husband that treats her right and buys her whatever she desires. She deserves everyone but him.

He's ruined her a little, touched her angle wings with his rough hands. Clipped away at them little by little trying to keep her by his side, trying to make her stay beside him for the years to come. 

So when she rests her head on his shoulder, dazed by the sunset he kisses her forehead longer than he suppose to, kisses her knuckles one by one, lingering when she makes a soft content sound.

"I never want this to end" she whispers, grabbing his hand in her smaller one, intertwining her fingers in his own.

Glancing over at her he frowns.

"End what Bon?"

She looks straight at him "Us" she says simply, resting her head back on his shoulder. "This between us, I can't imagine this feeling going away".

His heart hammers roughly, "what are you saying Bonnie?" He all but whispers, her green eyes blink twice slowly, movement he would of missed if he wasn't staring intently at her.

"I think I'm in love with you Kai".

It's a little dramatic but he can almost promise his heart stops dead in his chest, like ice cold water has been doused all over him. Like she physically reached inside his rib cage and pulled his heart out only to stomp on it.

He's frozen, stuck inside a bubble where he can't hear anything.

"Bonnie-"

She lifts a finger to hush him "Don't say anything okay".

He simply nods as she crawls off him, scooting over where there's space between them. Her eyes are confident but the shake in her legs give her away, she's nervous which makes him sick.

"I love you" she states, no question mark in her tone as she stares at him. "I'm in love with you, I don't know how long or when it happened but I'm in love with you Kai".

Kai opens his mouth but she lifts a finger, letting out a shaky breath. "I want you Kai"

Four words. Four simple words that has his head spinning.

He feels nauseous, as if he might puke at any given moment.

"I love you Kai" she says slower and softer, her hand resting on his thigh.

This time he is going to puke, jumping off the couch he runs to the trashcan spewing up his dinner, a heavy feeling settling in his gut. Before he can breathe another wave hits him, this time harder than the last.

Wiping his mouth he leans against the wall, eyes closed as he takes deep breaths in trying to calm in nervous stomach. He can sense her standing close to him, her honey scent clogging his nose.

"Do I sicken you that much?" She questions, her tone cold and lifeless.

Snapping his eyes open he wishes he hadn't, those once soft green eyes now cold and wet as she glares at him, disgust evident in her eyes.

"Bon-"

She lifts her hand, a dead look in her eyes as silent tears roll down her cheeks. "Me loving you makes you that sick?" she questions, bottom lip tucked between her teeth.

'Me telling you how I feel makes you that disgusted?" she chokes out, turning her head away from him. 'I jus- wow" she chokes.

He can see her curling into herself, small sobs making there way out of her throat.

"Bonnie listen to me please" he begs, pushing himself off the floor, grabbing hold of her tiny wrist. "Just- please let me say what I have to say"

She doesn't turn around, her body going rigid at his touch.

"I couldn't tell you the truth" he starts, his voice shaking. "I-i couldn't find the words, because I can't hurt you. I didn't want to hurt you. I love you. Believe it or not I'm in love with you. So much that it's been the only thing I could think about for the past two months"

He can hear her scoff.

"You're just saying this now so I won't leave. Don't play with me Kai, not now".

Tossing his head back he lets out a loud groan, startling the smaller girl who almost jumps out of her skin.

"I wouldn't lie to you, you know that" Kai says softly, loosing his grip on her dainty wrist. Her emerald eyes finally land again on him once more, the once intense fire she carried now a small flame.

His chest feels heavy, every shaky he breath he releases feels like a battle, a battle he is currently losing.

"Jo is leaving in a week. I've been helping her out since Rick is already down in Atlanta. Olivia is leaving as well, and I decided to join them" he states, his tone light.

She opens her mouth but he stops her, a finger pressing against her plump bottom lip.

"I never imagined living here. Not once did I see myself settling down in Mystic Falls, it seemed corny, a shit show. But then again I never thought I would find love, a short little   
thing with the greenest eyes I've ever seen and a mouth that put most grown men to shame. I never saw you tumbling into my life the way you did Bon."

Her tiny fingers wrap around his own, her grip tight as she slowly unravels in his arms.

"I want you to come with us. With me, away from this town away from your mom and all the bullshit here. Please Bonnie"

He watches the way her bottom lip trembles, her whole body lightly shaking as they stand chest to chest. Her nose nestling it's way into his shirt.

With a soft hand he runs his palms over her chilled arms, pulling her closer into him. "Please say something"

For a few minutes it's silent, the only sound coming from his air conditioning, A loud hum in the quiet night air.

"I want too" she says so softly he barely hears her, her voice so airy it's almost unrecognizable

"Then come"

"It's not that easy Kai"

"It is that easy Bonnie. Please just come with me"

His shirt feels soaked, her tears falling continuously as she holds onto him like he's her lifeline. "It's not that simple. I have family here.. I have a life here" she croaks.

"You can have so much more Bon. Anything you want, anything if you just come with me"

"What if I just want you?"

His heart skips.

"Then were already half way there".

-

The sun beats down on Kai's back mercilessly , the heat unwavering as he moves the last two bags out of Bonnie's apartment. Shoving her suitcase into the back of his car, he slams the door shut, letting out a sigh of relief. 

Leaning on the hood of his car, he watches her lock up her apartment, the tall the building looming over them both. He can still remember the first night he dropped her off here, how nervous he had been just to be in her presence.

How his hands shook when he opened her door for her, the way she smiled at him gratefully and thanked him for his trouble. He should of hugged her then, grabbed her with gentle hands and told her it wasn't trouble at all.

That she would never be trouble in his eyes.

She bounces down the steps with a smile on her face, her eyes twinkling in the sunlight. 

She is the moon and the sun rolled into one, the day and the night when they meet in the middle leaving a golden hue in sky. The very breath he breathes, the only thing he looks forward to each morning, the only thing that runs around his mind late at night.

She is everything he realizes. 

Everything he's ever wanted. Everything he's ever dreamed.

How funny everything he's desired is bottled into one tiny human. One tiny human that makes his world burn, and his heart feel alive. 

"Ready" she questions, standing in front of him with a boxy grin on her face.

With once last glance at apartment in front of them he grins right back.

"I'll always be ready with you by my side".


End file.
